|
Some of the dynamics
of dating violence in gay and lesbian relationships differ from
heterosexual relationships. For example, the way in which an abusive
partner controls a relationship could be through threats of "outing" his/her
partner to family, friends, coworkers and/or associates.
Also, many abusive
partners may suggest that police and counselors will be homophobic, thus
causing the victim not to seek help. The myth that men can not be victims
of abuse and that dating violence does not occur in lesbian relationships
is simply that, a myth. Violence in gay and lesbian relationships occurs
at the same rate as in heterosexual relationships.
Some members of the
gay and lesbian community may even discourage victims of dating violence
from coming forward about the abuse that is occurring. This may happen
because many lesbians and gay men believe that the amount of negative
media surrounding the lesbian and gay community is overwhelming without
adding sexual and dating violence to it. This way of thinking can be very
dangerous, not just for the victims of dating violence, but for the
community in general.
Seeking
Help
Deciding whether or
not to seek counseling is an important issue for the gay/lesbian/bisexual
community. Victims may need to come out about being gay or lesbian, not
only to the counselor, but also to the police if they choose to prosecute
or file charges. Also, the victim will want to find a counselor that s/he
feels comfortable with and one who feels comfortable working with lesbians
and gays.
There are many things
to think about before a victim decides to seek help. Issues of internal
and external homophobia are a main concern with many gays and lesbians.
The institutionalized heterosexism that permeates society is a direct
cause of the homophobia that exists in both the heterosexual and
homosexual communities.
Although it may seem
difficult to combat such ingrained condition, coming forward about being a
victim of dating violence is one way to acknowledge that dating violence
occurs in the gay and lesbian community.
Additional
Resources
Cheryl
Clarke
Diverse Community Affairs and Lesbian and Gay Concerns
3
Bartlett Street, College Avenue Campus
732-932-1711
http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~divcoaff/
Rutgers University
BiSexual, Gay, Lesbian
OUTREACH HOTLINE
732-932-7886
NJ Coalition for
Battered Women
Lesbian Hotline
800-224-0211
Student
Organizations:
- BiSexual, Gay,
Lesbian Alliance At Rutgers University
- Lesbian and
BiSexual Womyn in Action
- Rutgers Union of
Gay and Bisexual Men
Contact Diverse Community
Affairs for more information about these students
organizations.
Back to Dating Violence, Abuse,
and Stalking page
|
