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Studies have found
that 3-22% of men were sexually abused as children (Holmes & Slap,
1998). If you were abused as a boy, you may have waited a long time to
recognize or report this abuse, and this is understandable. Please know
that the abuse was not your fault and that you are not alone.
Problems related to
sexual trauma as a boy can include:
- emotional disorders
- substance abuse
- risk-taking behavior
- depression
- bowel incontinence
- sexually related
problems (sexual dysfunction, hypersexuality, sexual aggression)
- questioning of
sexuality
Individual and group
counseling can help, even if the abuse occurred in the past. You can find
more information in our References for More
Information.
Here are a few facts
that you should know:
- Most male victims
of childhood abuse do NOT become sex offenders themselves
- Males and females
up to their early teens have an almost equal chance of being sexually
assaulted
- Those who abuse
boys often are not family members, but are in positions of trust or
authority over the victim (such as a babysitter, spiritual/religious
adviser, coach, etc.)
- Recovery is a process
that takes time. The Rutgers Department of Sexual Assault Services and
Crime Victim Assistance is available to help.
If you were sexually
abused as a boy, you deserve help. Recovery is possible. The following
are a sample of the steps that you can take toward your recovery (from
Behavioral Health Treatment, 1997):
- Recognize the abuse
and acknowledge the need to heal
- Move beyond guilt
and self-blame; this was not your fault
- Learn to acknowledge,
feel, and express your emotions
- Learn to love your
body, including seeing sexual contact as a form of intimacy rather than
as revolting, painful, or a form of aggression
- Learn to trust
others, share your feelings, and express them in a constructive way
- Learn problem-solving
skills and manage stress
- Resolve any spiritual
issues
- Integrate your
memories, emotions, and current experiences and focus on present and
future relationships
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